Healing Moments

On Sacred Ground
by Chaplain Jane Mather
Director of Pastoral Care
Winthrop-University Hospital

A Sudden Tragedy
It was a late-November Saturday afternoon.
While most people were either shopping or enjoying leftover Thanksgiving turkey, one Jewish family was doing neither. Their seven year old presented at the Winthrop-University Hospital with a ‘queasy tummy’ that degenerated—in less than 24 hours—into irreversible cardiopulmonary arrest. This boy was an infant transplant survivor with a very long medical history, and his young Mom and not-too-old Grandmother had wanted to believe that, after seven years of weathering infections and rejections, perhaps he really had cornered the market on resiliency. His death that Saturday came as a complete betrayal of their expectations, their experience, and their vigilance.

Mom and Grandma sat silent and stoic as they tried to absorb the loss. Because it was the Sabbath, efforts to find their rabbi had been unsuccessful. So the ER staff, noting the family’s distress, called the pastoral care office to offer the family support. I was on the other end of the pager.

Learning About Diversity
I’m a Roman Catholic layperson. Part of the reason I moved to New York City from Washington State was to have more diverse pastoral experiences. I’d felt as if my life in middle-America had left me ignorant about the beliefs of most of God’s people in the world. While CPE prepares us to minister to people of all—or no—faith traditions, no one from any but the Christian faith ever seemed to be in my hospital in Spokane. I made a conscious choice in coming here to learn about other perceptions of God, life, and wisdom. But when that pager went off, I hadn’t even been here two months. In my mind, I was still ignorant.

Finding Common Ground
After unsuccessfully attempting to reach the local rabbi, I knew it was time for me to offer something besides Kleenex and coffee. I swallowed my religious ignorance (which I was feeling as pastoral ineptitude) and said, "I am not Jewish and I don’t know the teachings from your tradition that might bring you comfort at this time. But I am a mother, and for me motherhood has been a precious, painful, sacred responsibility. As I listen to you talk about your journey with your son—and yours with your daughter and grandson—I hear in you that kind of dedication. I wonder if we might meet the God of creation together on this painful, holy ground—as mothers—and ask comfort and healing on your hearts and minds?" From there we recited psalms (I was stuck with the ones I knew by heart, but they turned out to be just fine), wept, and embraced until the rabbi called and more family arrived.

This first lesson in diversity highlighted for me the commonness of our sacred humanity. I was fortunate to be able to attend the EPIC conference in Toronto, where chaplains of all faiths and backgrounds collaborated, and where I was again reminded of how reaching across faith traditions can strengthen not only our pastoral knowledge but also our personal spirituality. I know that as I continue to absorb the lessons of multifaith ministry and diversity provided so abundantly in New York, both my spirit and my faith will continue to grow. For these opportunities I am very grateful.